entagonising life

kill me?

2008-09-02T23:02:00.003+08:00

today while i was doing my math papers i kept thinking about something.
i came to a realisation.

even though you might be over me, you might have stopped thinking of me and you now even have no reason to avoid me, i'll never forget you. i can never stop the longing for you. my heart just refuse to. my mind has stopped trying.

i still love you. but i wont let it interfere with my life. i'll just keep you close to my heart(:

i realized the only memory of you now are the movie tickets in my wallet. that's all that's left. i changed my phone so no more messages. i even lost the sweet messages i sent to you and was going to send to you.

it's so sad we didnt even take any photos.
haha well there's no proof that we were once together so you have all the right to deny.ha ha.

hope you're happy(: really.

long long journey

2008-08-25T22:50:00.005+08:00

hmm cant believe it. after all this while i still feel weak looking at her.
oh god can you just take it away. you've taken many things away from me why can you just take these feelings away?
i need help.
help me?

and talking to huiping about it just killed me again. can imagine doctors using the deflebrator to resuscitate me. *clear!* zap! and here i am again.

hmm today was quite a productive day revised the whole of stats hope things will be alright(:
working towards the As is really hard and i really mean As i wanna get As not Bs As for my subjects!
press on
dont give up
not now not after all this pain
do my best and show them(:
jiayou everyone(:

I am claustrophobic?

2008-08-23T23:00:00.002+08:00

today's the school song recording.

went to school in the morning with only 2 hours of sleep to do the econs test. haha had a really wild night. anyway was suppose to do 3 essays for miss hazel's test but i only did 2. mind drained. and i think i did quite a good job on at least one of it haha 5 pages long not bad i must say(: then went to meet huiping for lunch with debbie too before choir started. haha!

i was tired and unfocused! needed sleep hahah!
well ben then came to join us and we had lunch.
choir practice after was okay haha i realised the choir is going backwards they are not improving at all haha in my opinion anyway.

we took a bus to the studio haha and on the way there it's the return of the oldies. the j1s were singing oldies. gosh! heal the world was the most repeated one. " there are people dying" haha hearing it more makes me depressed.

well we reached the recording studio and went straight to work. we were supposed to do two versions of the school song. one with the band and another with the piano.
we went in and rehearsed the song with the band's recording. it was then i realised i felt really uncomfortable there. my head was spinning and i felt really breatheless at first i thought it was the lack of sleep, but then one i'm out of the room i felt better. well the recording went on and on and we managed to finish the school song with the band's recording.
next was the piano one. haha the pianist was good. we had a good first take with a few mistakes, but as we progressed on we all felt drained and the standards dropped drastically. people were all unfocused and wrong notes everywhere.

hmm i kinda hate miss eunice. she never listens to what i have to say, kinda irritates me somewhat la. i think she thinks what i'm saying is bullshit or something haha! nevermind there wont be a need to talk to her anymore . that's one of the reasons i never talk to her about how i'm feeling in choir and stuff. "we're here for you" my foot, miss hazel's a better listener.
anyway after today i found out that i'm mildly claustrophobic haha! no other reason for it
we finished the recording finally at around 6.

we went back to school and me debbie and mushi left for dinner.
we went to bishan and ate, tagged along with debbie when she went to find a box for her friend's presents. haha! i got her to make potato salad for me! heehee!(: cool good food on tuesday!(:

i think sometimes people gotta realised who they treat as their friends. and realised that you dont have to do or act in a particular way as the crowd. it's kinda hypocratical after a while. one of the things i dont like. realise that you are special for who you are and not what you are becoming. <-- haha just a random thought nothing meant:P

i wonder why you are treating me this way.

the worst you treat me the more the pain wont go away.

the more i dont want it to go away.

my mind's thinking that you're doing this for a reason.

and that reason is...

inflation shrinks food size!

2008-08-16T20:09:00.002+08:00

heys
just had dinner with my parents at chomp chomp. haha was thinking about econs la. so obvious inflation causes price of stuff to increase but they also shrink the size.. haha
my family had to have 2 servings of almost everything when we used to have 1.
haha well yesterday was a full moon.
weird things happen on a full moon. weird things happen to me anyway haha!
i sank into a zen state of emo-ness.
was watching tv then i set this timer on the tv so that it will switch off on it own. yea but i was feeling really emo then i just sat there blankly thinking.
then the tv switch off and i still stood there blankly.
haha i think i was for quite somewhile until someone sms me.
hmm need to set my mind straight la. damn.

about 70 days to As and so totally unprepared.
today was a really tiring day.
went to school early in the morning with an empty stomach heh heh(: anyway yup 8am to take the math mock paper 1
so tiring cant do quite a few questions and didnt continue the complex numbers and vectors questions just havent studied them at all.
i think paper 2's coming soon dunno when but it'll kill me too haha didnt do any stats tutorials the WHOLE YEAR haha wonder how i survived the midyears

well next was econs timed practice.
case studies. we had to do two case studies.
it was really tiring. had to force myself even to lift up the pen. lesson learnt: never go to an exam with an empty stomach.
finish the 1st case but didnt do the last question properly coz i went into it with a wrong perception of the question wrote totally out of point.
felt too tired to continue the second one haha so i just gave up(:

when the case study ended it was already around 230 haha so freaking hungry la. went to the coffee shop to eat and saw suk lum and her friend there. gobbled up my food and then went straight back to school for consultation.
so that's about 3 hours of econs consultations we analyzed each member of the group's essay and find they good points and bad points. need to link up more. lazy brain! i scored the lowest in the group.
then we talk about social stuff like Sg's policy to appreciate the currency. haha good and bad too LR SR. woah haha quite interesting la. and funny how some people manage to memorize so many definitions and another all the figures in the papers haha!

lessons ended and helped miss hazel carry her stuff down. then she was telling me" must work hard you know, you can do it, dont give up yea"
with those words came a sudden sense of guilt. why didnt i finish doing up the case study sighs.

super tiring day la. super tiring day.
i hope i can make it for the As.
wondering how you're doing now..

STRESS??

2008-08-11T22:31:00.002+08:00

LOL i had this really strange and weird dream. the funny part is i cant remember a huge chunk of it.
argh! my mind is really useless, no will power no brain power. cant even remember a dream. haha
well what i remember was i was with a girl in school and she was crying. the weird part is it's in my primary school. the school look deserted, quiet and ghostly. the girl was trembling and i did a stupid thing, i leaned over and kiss her, i hugged her. once again owing to my weak mind i cant remember the face.
i wonder what does this mean. sighs. weird dream.
just a few days back, i dreamt i took a gun to my head and pulled the trigger. but when i see the body on the floor it wasnt me. damn am i weird.
premunition? or just my mind playing tricks on me
(: well officially 77 days to As. the stress has set in already and i realised i'm still ill prepared. how? did 1 physics MCQ, a few math topics a few questions and 3 econs essay.
i'm too slow. i need to study faster! didnt meet my 10 essay quota this weekend sighs.
this week. aimed to finish studying for math and do at least 5 econs essay(: hope i can make it
jiayou everyone.
jiayou you(:

National Day Eve

2008-08-08T22:25:00.002+08:00

today's the eve of national day! haha and also the opening of the beijing olympics 08

we had celebrations in school today which was quite boring. it's like something the school did to meet the quota for NE haha.

it's like they crammed the year's amount of NE programme into the two hours.

the celebrations consists of a cultural dance. talking about the different races' dances. it was so lame btw it's like something they made up just to satisfy the people. and.. i slept through the whole thing(:

well i did see something. i came to the conclusion. some people are filled with too much arrogance, self centred-ness and biasness to have any bit of talent to dance such easy steps. I've always hated this guy in my class. he's from china and he's such an... well you can fill in the rest.

he treats people like dirt especailly his girlfriend who i think he's with just for her money. ahhh! shouldnt talk about him anymore the more i talk about him the more i want to punch that disgusting smile off his face(:

anyway then next one was poetry. which was more interesting. quite fun actually. haha i myself am quite fond of poetry and have written a few before haha but my talentless works are nothing to mention about. well the rythem, rhyme and reason was nice haha!

then the national day games. LOL so many choir members went up. and i realise something. i saw someone familiar. not familiar familiar but it's that feeling of similarity with someone else. she stand like her, talks like her, has the same expression as her AND!!! sings like her! oh my gosh.. so much alike.. maybe there's a relation with how you look and how you sound.. haha maybe that'll be my thesis paper next time!(:

then it was a soccer tournament later. haha we lost 2 games out of 3 but it was fun :D
tiring day. got my hair cut thin and trimmed it a bit hope it looks good when i style it yup(:
got consultation tomorrow. but before that i aimed to run in the morning before 11 yea!

hahah byes!
happy birthday singapore(:
81days to A levels(:

Emotionally Unstable ME

2008-08-06T21:28:00.003+08:00

something strange happened today when i reached my block.

there is this vending machine that has candy and tidbits and whatnots in it and there there was an old man and two primary school girls.

Well my guess was that the old man was the father and the two girls his daughter seeing how he was carrying two bags on his shoulder.

something he was doing made me really uncomfortable.

he was looking at the vending machine and thinking whether to get that chocolate biscuit for his daughter who was pleading by his side.

Not to be mean but he didnt look well off, he's more like those unemployed middle aged uncles, in his overworn ensemble of tshirt and shorts and bald. he was wearing this face of remorse like he was being forced to do something he didnt want to.

obviously the food in the machine was expansive but having that great love for his daughter he bought it for her while the younger sibling kept quiet and waited for the snack.

haha i didnt stand there and stared at them or what to figure all this out la.. i got it all in the few seconds i look at them while i was walking by that area to the lift.

anyway i felt a sudden overwhelming sense of guilt and remorse, seeing how the father was willing, though reluctantly, gave up the money to give to his children. children are sometimes really devilish little critters. they dont understand the things that are happening around them, they lack that maturity in them. i was thinking about inflation and all that stuff and seeing how the father might be unemployed and all i wanted to go put in some coins to help the dad.

While waiting, i stood in front of the lift and pondered a while and decided to take a peak back at them and i saw that they are hitting the machine because the snack got stuck while it's being dispensed. what irony! how much more can life torture people. i kept thinking and thinking that suddenly i got so many feelings mixed up inside of me. on top of the guilt and remorse before now was sadness, self pity and of course loneliness. So much so that i just placed my bag down and fell to the bed and sleep.

maybe it's the lack of sleep these past few months that drained me. i thought i had all these feelings kept up nicely. haha! on the other hand i did feel a bit happy that i left the subway cookies sold today in school for my sisters.

today was like the worst day of school ever. it's not because of too much classes but because there was practically no tutorials at all. morning was econs lecture following that was geog which mr ng was not there and then math which mr leong wasnt there too so i practically had break from 9 to 130. i should have went home la and skip every remedial lessons. sighs.. most of which are a little waste of time. tired tired tired!

well the past few weeks were nice, didnt really do much work that i slack back on studying. didnt finish the math tutorial i was suppose to do neither did i do any revision. sighs. what's up with me. i kept playing yixuan's guitar. now i can do chords instantantly. A G E D C Am Em haha! still cant do F and B maybe my fingers are too fat and soft that the flesh on my pinky and 2nd finger couldnt press the strings hard enough. targeted songs to learn! haha [dui mian de nu hai] [collide][more than words] [your call by secondhand serenade] and [qing tian] only did the intro for some the rest i could go to the chorus

haha! how's that for a beginner(: wrong things to do during exam period!!

went out with godsis and her boyfriend. gosh she's being a bit weird la doing weird stuff sighs.. anyway had cakes!(: nice nice sweet (some with alcohol) cakes haha!

took pictures too!

took this while studying at cafe cartel(: half price cake tiramisu!(:

took this at gloria jeans tiramisu too(:

well life's a bit unbalanced now. hope i can balance out work and play.. too much play now!!(:

Weird dreams!

2008-07-24T22:07:00.002+08:00

i dreamt of someone.
someone i never stopped thinking about.

weird how these memories would flood back to me in the form of dreams.
i stopped having dreams a few weeks back but suddenly it started again. could it be because i saw her?

hmm anyways i had just practiced a bit on the guitar and it hurts.
i got a tender heart and tender fingers.
they are all red for pressing on the stings haha! i have a feeling if i continue to do this they'll bleed.

talking bout blood. today's was ny's blood donation drive. i wanted to donate my blood, but i took sleeping pills la so cant. damn. anyway i was there with kamfung and mingfeng and i did this weird thing.
i stared at a girl.
the nurse was preparing her for the donation. then i saw the nurse pick up the anesthetic and begain pushing it into her arm. and then she stared at me. while i stared at her arm.
for a first time doner she wasnt that terrified. haha weird me, weirder girl. anyway saw the huge needle go in and the blood flowing out and i felt excited seeing the blood.
haha yup i'm weird la. maybe i'm a vampire! hahahahahah!

today's jacjac's birthday! happy birthday to you(:
well reminded me one sad fact. i got only one present for my birthday this year. wanna guess what it is?(:

brokenheart

Guitar!!

2008-07-21T21:56:00.002+08:00

AHHH!! i finally borrowed a guitar!! haha thanks yixuan!
okay well i spent the last half an hour or so tuning it and it's still not okay yet. ahh my ears have gone haywired from the high pitched lecturers at school *ahem hod of maths* and the long time i've not touched any musical instrument.
today i realised i havent touch a piano for a very long long time. gosh. i dont play the piano but as a choir member i touch the piano quite often. kinda miss the white and black keys(:
well.. onwards to playing the guitar. next on the agenda. learn how to tune with a tuning fork and borrow a tuner!(:

Feel Good Music!

2008-07-14T22:16:00.002+08:00

Lately i've been listening to some nice music. like songs from Secondhand Serenade and Faber Drive etc haha! thanks to Audrey for sending me those songs. they are great! anyway i've already heard them like more than a dozen times and they make me feel happier.
i think i'm beginning to get over it. it being my emo-ness.
i'm so afraid i'm suffering from depression. insomnia, changes in eating pattern and the feeling that all is doomed. die! please dont let it be.
well havent found a cure for my insomnia yet. going to the doctors to get a long term mc for pe (back problems) and maybe get some sleeping pills to help me sleep better.
maybe the stress is building up. less than 2 months to prelims. things are moving faster and faster and i'm worried if i'm able to make it in time. no. if i'm able to outperform myself.
expectations are higher. i need to start revising and studying.
practice makes perfect haha!
so many things to do now. econs essays are piling up and i gotta finish maths tutorials by wed. yup i owe mr leong the whole of statistics from S1 onwards. handed in S1 and S2. haha 3 more to go(: hmm so many geog tutorials dunno how i'm gonna go about doing it. it's like things are piling up.
well flunk physics really badly this time and make me wonder, i need to put in a lot more effort into physics. it's not that easy.
goals for prelims: A for maths and maybe econs. C for physics and geog maybe. need to brush up my gp too. sighs. 23 23 for both essays and compre so that 46/100 for gp pass but not good enough.
temptations temptations are everywhere. need to overcome all these. need to study now.
my goals are so much more complex than anyone's. need to work towards it. need to be sure of it(:
well everyone persevere for your exams. dont give up. never give up on anything.

2008-07-12T04:39:00.000+08:00

insomnia is a weird thing.
i'm not thinking of anything but just feels really sad.
detached from everyone.
it seems everyone is busy with themselves and couldnt be bothered with me.
well didnt do well for midyears. got a U for physics which it seems most of the people in my class did. got a D for math which is not very good either. wanted to do better but restricted by my emotions.
i need sleep. i need control. i need...

impossible

2008-06-29T20:35:00.003+08:00

you know. i'm not as strong as everyone thinks i am.
till now i still cant get over it. i mean yes exams are on and there are more important things to do then sit around thinking bout her but that's what i do. this midyears i'm really gonna suck at it.
i mean i'd do pretty well for a guy who had a broken heart about a week before exams. and what's worst is she doesnt seem too disturbed by it.
i wonder if she misses me.
well i know who's so good about chocolates already. it's like a drug. after you take it, you feel happier, a change of perspective. give it a few hours and you're thrown back to how you felt, feeling the impact 10 times worst. i think i'm better off finishing the vodka in my cupboard.
i did the weirdest thing today. i didnt study at all for the case study exam tomorrow. 2hr 15mins paper probably able to help me pass econs.
i'm just a guy, i dont want to grow up. i want to be able to be sad and feel sad with no repercussions in life. i hate it when people tell me the truth, that i need to get over it.
perhaps i dont want to.
perhaps..

2008-06-29T15:00:00.002+08:00

i was overwhelmed by dejection when i woke up. i had a really strange dream last night.
well the thing is yesterday i went out with my god sis and mervyn for dinner and supposedly to study. and then over cake at cafe cartel we just sort of talked about music. the usual stuff, choir, singing and stuff. yea and it got me thinking that maybe my dreams are stupid. i mean i cant possibly achieve it, can i?
well on the bus ride home i happened to chance upon a song by Andrea Bocelli, because we believe. it was totally out of the ordinary and coincidental. the song was inspirational and a moral uplifter. it talks about things like you know if you believe, it can be achieved. i mean what a time for such a song when i'm feeling down and dejected.
well watched tv series online and i got addicted to it. I was watching House, that doctor tv serial. yea anyway then i got to sleep at around 5am in the morning. haha stupid internet connection.
oh back to my dream. i dreamt about all the things i need to do to get to what i want. i dreamt about how i need friends who can sing and are talented in music, i need to engage myself in more musical activities like concerts and performances. i need to actually know music. it's all so difficult. oh and i dreamt about chocolates. weird
hahah! well i'm here now. i think i'm feeling okay again. back to watching my shows la becaue i dont really feel like studying econs. well tip externalities might come out. i "analyzed" the essay questions to see which topics havent been tested. or externalities might not come out at all and national income comes out. who knows haha! there are two casestudies anyway(:
good luck guys.

maybe tomorrow it'd be better

2008-06-27T23:10:00.004+08:00

it's amazing how i'm still feeling horrible, how i'm still thinking of her.
everything around me is still the same, i still go to school, lessons, exams, i still feel small standing beside the sea but it just isnt the same at all.
i go to bed every night thinking what had i done wrong and i realized i've been having these dreams about her, everytime i wake up trying to grab on to you and there is nothing there. Me covered in cold sweat, sometimes in tears, just being disillusional. turns out she wasnt in love with me like i thought.
i really want to tell someone about what's happening, but i have no one. i have friends but i always felt alone, maybe i'm ashamed or i just hate myself for what's happened that i couldnt even bring myself to tell anyone, not even the closest of friends.
after the break up, i looked at my phone more, thinking if i should sms her, hoping it would ring and see her message.
i remember everything that happened, everywhere we went everything we did. i really regret not having any pictures at all, the memories alone makes it feel so much worst.
i remember that funny dinner at that restaurant, we had dinner in silence and i tried to feed her.
she had the greatest smile, a face meant to smile i told her. i'd always walk her to the gate and looked at her, watched her walk in and stare at the gate for a while before leaving.
it always feels weird. this feeling everything i'm near her. and even weirder that my heart raced everytime our hands touched, no brushed each other. and that little hug that night alone felt like everything. no one would ever give me that feeling again.
all that's left now is the memories. this painful feeling deep inside.

it's strange that i would cry over movies, sometimes i'd cry in the night. many times people say things that makes me think of her.
everytime i'm on the bus and it passes her house, i'd look longingly, foolishly thinking i might catch a glimpse of her.
it's weird that people all would say time heals all wounds. because it seems at though the length of time just tramples on me even more. like it and everything else is mocking me.
now i'm left alone.
you know my birthday just passed and the only thing i was hoping for was an sms. but it never came.
yup i'm officially alone.

2008-06-26T21:34:00.000+08:00

my heart's depressed everything is going wrong.
looking at the night sky, it seems that even the stars are crossed with me

2008-05-27T21:10:00.002+08:00

physics spa today. it was horrific. i think i died many times over while trying to memorize the spa and still i forgot some things.
woke up at 5am today to try to study, not possible.
anyway after the spa test i waited around in school to meet her to go study at ti amor with eileen and mushi.
i couldnt study at all la. for some reason i cant focus at all and all i did was slack.
i realize my mind is a very strange thing, it starts up at different times and i think the lack of sleep atributed to a short attention span and highly distractable me.
i decided that staying there was wasting my time so i went home early.
i had planned on doing the gp homework assignment by starting with some research but i soon fell asleep doing nothing.
well shall keep exploring my mind(:

2008-05-23T12:14:00.001+08:00

you know what's the funny thing?
even though i'm surrounded by hypocrites, i'm still not used to them.
serious self control needed.

why be nice to someone who apparently isnt nice to you and doesnt give respect to you.

i'm straightforward i know, life's too short to go round and round.
stupid people do stupid things.

2008-05-04T21:36:00.004+08:00

the past week made me realise a lot of things.
i can be so much of a jerk sometimes.
i hate it when i do things uncontrollably, it's like another personality of mine.
maybe i should keep away from people i will hurt, or keep away from people who hates me.

this sucks. well at least she's not mad at me already. but there are people mad at me still.

i'm sorry for being a jerk, there are so many things in my mind so many things happening at the same time that i couldnt choose what to do. i didnt know what i said or what i was doing. what i knew and thought was wrong or perhaps had change after so long.

i wanted someone to tell my thoughts to.
but she's still not yet the one. she tells her friends almost everything, i dont know if i can tell her though i really want to.

all these feelings, all these pain.
i really want someone to share my burden. someone to share my pain.
i want it to be you.

i saw the flaws in people and the other sides of people. i dont know what to do or how to react.
maybe i should just be the real me. not the one now hiding behind a mask.
what should i do.

i want to talk to you so badly but it seems you just dont have the time for me.
will we work out? i dont know.

i saw your flaw but i still love you

2008-04-25T22:26:00.003+08:00

yesterday's so surreal..
you made my heart run faster and faster
made me wait.
and made my heart stop~
you made me feel human, so intensely human that it feels great.
once again, you made me happy(:

24april2008 i feel alive again

2008-04-17T23:38:00.002+08:00

i feel so damn bloody useless
she's pissed and i cant do anything to cheer her up.
and the things i was saying made things worst.

i'm a bloody loser

2008-04-03T21:24:00.002+08:00

today is a really weird day.
i've been sick for a while, and today is the new low.
i feel tired in lessons and i would doze off as and when my body decides to give up and i dont realise it.
in addition to that, i felt the strange gush of emo-ness today.
since the start of the day. i didnt feel like sms-ing her. felt reluctant to go for pe. wanted to skip choir practice at stgabs.
really really burdened by something. but i cant say what.
i'm thinking it's my illness, but there's something more to that.

i have this strange dream while i was dozing off in class today.
that feeling. strangely familiar, a sense of icy coldness, a sense of loneliness.
then it just stopped. like my heart died in my dream.
and i just stood there watching her go.
i know i promised her i wont be emo la. but i need reassurence sometimes? i think.

i'm hoping otherwise

2008-03-30T20:29:00.002+08:00

had alumini practice today.
it was tiring.
i was sick and i couldnt focus, of all days we had to learn a new song today.
i was struggling to keep up with my notes gosh brain aint working much.

tried to refrain myself from sms-ing her cause she needs to do her work and study. hope she'll be less stress la.. she studied physics the whole day and she's doing chem now. woah. i'm j2 and i'm not that stress yet.. maybe i need to reflect on myself.

gotta buck up!(:
thinking of running tomorrow before choir. school ends at 330 la choir starts at 530.... and it's our own combine practice. i forsee bad things happening. hope i get better by tomorrow la.
fever, muscle aches and i think flu.. dunno snivelling here and there:P

well gotta get back to filing my econs file. so many things missing...

lovesick

2008-03-28T21:32:00.002+08:00

today was a great waste of time, except for the last part. heehee
i had sectionals today at 11. woke up at around 9 and lazed around in bed then, got ready to go to school. sectionals was as usual, we went, we sang, we felt bad, we left.
after sectionals we waited around and played with the band instruments. heehee zz was on the drums and stella was playing the piano. ziqing was trying to play the xylophone.
it sounded pretty cool. they kept making teasing me throughout sectionals and after that.

went for a run with zz. we ran around 5 round then went to play basketball. my team got trashed, hahah. after that ziqing joined as and it's two( me and ziqing) against zz.
guess who won. yes. me and ziqing
hahaha(:
zz was still boasting before that that he can with us 7 nil in 30 seconds. we won 7 - 4. :P
then went back to the music room and the sops were having sectionals. zhengyi wasnt conducting sectionals. she just sat there doing nothing. she said the sops forgot everything. well...
after awhile i left and went to ben's house to swim~
ben's home was gorgeous sia. there was this cool sword on display from him brother.
haha!

well after swiming we slacked around in his room. :P and with zz strange things happened. i got photos to prove haha!(:
shortly me and zz left. i went to school.
on the way there, it rained heavily and i was soaked. plus i was wearing slippers so it's super slippery la and almost fell afew times.

well went to school and waited for her to end sectionals.
it was around 730 when we left school. haha~ went for dinner at the coffeeshop nearby. it was great la. the sc people were around then chuxian saw me. he said "hey kenny" then i turn around he saw her and said" oh " and walked away.
hahah
she laughed furiously, banging on the table. haha(:
we talked a lot mostly bout choir people and the gossips:P shh dont ask me what.. my lips are sealed.
then i saw her home.
yup that's how the day ended. nothing special. but just a sweet ending(:

in my heart, there is a city named after you

2008-03-25T16:18:00.003+08:00

I'm having trouble sleeping these few days, and it seems trouble waking up too.
today i woke up at 6am then i went back to sleep 7 am and went back to sleep 10am and went back to sleep, 12 then 2. what's up with me.
anyway these past few days are really magical for me(:

yesterday miss hazel smsed me and we chatted a while. haha! she says our class' case study is making her stressed. she talked bout my case study too!! is she allowed to do that? anyway that's sorta bothered me a little. i hope i dont fail econs though.

i gotta get my wrist looked at. the pain is causing me insomnia argh!~

btw i'm so unmotivated that i'm down to flipping through my physics chapters just to say i've
"studied" well gotta go back to studying now(:

"HEY! dont worry. we'll get past the teasing together! for better or for worst right(:"

undescrible feelings(:

2008-03-23T18:45:00.004+08:00

today, i realised a lot of things have happened overnight. like she said, it felt so surreal. but it's so real. well woke up late for practice with the alumini guys because i set the alarm time on my phone wrongly. i set it for 10pm. *roll eyes* i must be too delirious from last night la. anyway sms her at around 12 plus and went to get ready to leave. I took a cab to school, the taxi driver was a salesman, he kept commenting on my face then he tried to sell me some products could you believe that? i reached school and he kept talking and talking i think i sat in his car for like 10 mins just listening to him talk. luckily that wasnt on the metre.

well practice was bad, i couldnt focus at all. my mind was running all around the place la. notes were wavering all the way. couldnt lock anything in. too tired i gathered. had lunch after that, the guys and i we chatted a lot mostly bout school and stuff.

then i decided to walk home. i enjoyed the walk home. we smsed and i felt happy(:
i think i'm gonna like long walks from now on.

you came into my life

2008-03-22T00:30:00.003+08:00

I'm so happy today~ heehee(:
last night i didnt sleep till like 5 o'clock. woke up at 11am, dazed and i just lay there staring at the celling.
well the day went by pretty well. heart kept beating harder and harder.
what a breathtaker. haha
i was shy:p
need i say more?

start of something good?

2008-03-21T23:28:00.002+08:00

hey
it's been a while since i updated my blog
so many things have happened in my life i could hardly find time. or maybe i was just too lazy haha
anyway a little update
i'm learning to play that song mushi wrote for me and the song merry christmas mr lawrence( the leap years)
block tests just passed and hope i didnt do too badly.. yes, too badly, and for those who think i'm a bloody mugger just lying to everyone else, i'm not. think again..
things arent that good in school either.. it's complicated. sometimes i'm just so tired of keeping everything to myself. sighs.
anyway i'm just tired.

i'd rather have bad times with you, than have good times with anyone else

2007-11-15T23:28:00.000+08:00

today morning! i was suppose to go for emo run with stella... hahaha she over slept... hmm wonder if she was late..
anyway went for maths without my notes again.. hongqing still has mine..
i guess aaron wanted to be sarcastic about me not bring note for lectures. there's your answer...
i didnt go for the afternoon lecture, instead i went home to sleep..
was really tired after those late nights. i've too much to think about and i think too much. go figure!
Went to visit my new home at serangoon north. yes i am moving there for those who dont know.
and started to think about the renovations for my room.
ARGH! such a bother..
i want everything black or everything white. but no.. serious parental objections.
hahah Clara jie jie and her husband Andy keep giving us advice and stuff hahaha...
" give him a room with no aircon and no windows no doors. drill some holes for ventilation" my mum said..
gosh i'm being tortured.
hahah(:
i'm starting to smile in my sleep again.
i've not done that since the angela thing. for those of you who know.
to clarify! i'm not emo. i'm just a quiet and shy guy.
yes i'm shy. dont laugh.
is this a sign that i'm getting over? or that i cant get over it.
it's been so many months already. and that feeling still lingers.
i wonder if....

2007-10-24T15:33:00.000+08:00

today was a normal day..
went to school to do pw and to get my h3 application chopped.
well did pw on my own. manxu was there but of course was not of any help whatsoever..
yongzhi and haikal didnt turn up as expected.
went for chinese and slept thru the whole lecture. while the people behind were giggling away.
bored to death.

2007-10-21T20:14:00.000+08:00

Saturday
went to bugis street and bugis junction with my mother and sister.
well went around shops to look for clothes.
buying clothes can be really depressing for me
haha tried out a few outfits but they are too tight.
walking around bugis street, i saw Valarie first 3 months friend...
i was so stunned.. we looked at each other then she was unsure if she knew me. haha she started to raise her hand to say hi but stopped, so i raised mine. we smiled and went on our way.
seeing her reminded me of my time at MI whoo.. all the people i met.. all the things that happened. flash back!
things bought: 4 shirts

Sunday
me and my parents went to marina square to shop. walked around and shop-hopped for a while. we went to top man, G2000, and Zara... went to many shoe shops.
surprising thing was i saw christopher and zican.. they said they were going to buy ball zican going bball pro* haha(:
well got a sms from Anna saying she saw me.. so many ppl met in one day...
went to suntec after that.. my mum was doubting my sense of direction.. haha. when we finally got there i had this triumphant look on my face:D
mom was left speechless..
went around suntec. bought donuts from donut factory. haha.. it was amazingly fast thou..
walked around and bought a pair of converse shoes. (emo kid syndrome(: ) i bought it coz my old pair of designer shoes went smelly after being soaked in the rain and my endless hours of basketball playing..
i'm really a spendthrift..
i'm a little hooked to the song Unwell by Matchbox 20 and Your Guardian Angel by The Red Apparatus Jumpsuit..

well this weekend i spent around 120 dollars on clothes and shoes.. is that my accomplishment? hmmm hahas(:

2007-10-18T21:49:00.000+08:00

well it's been a while since i blogged..
after promos a lot of things have happened. the sudden surge of emotions everyday on top of the misery i feel already.
i got an A for econs and B for maths and i'm quite happy for my results. i think if i did badly for my promos i'd have crumbled like a cookie.
i realised that the things i've done for the year have gone to waste.
there's 0736 and me.. two separate entities.
no matter how much i've tried, superficial people despise me because i'm a fat and ugly guy.
i have no talent and no use what so ever.. therefore i'm not regarded as a friend nor a classmate for that fact.
aaron was right. i should really ask myself if i belong to the class..
i wonder what i've done wrong to deserve this.
well i could only blame myself for landing myself in this state.

choir has stopped again.. like a heart going thru cardiac arrest again and again.
everytime we gain the momentum to sing, someone would stop it. this is irritating.
well i borrowed the electronic keyboard from eileen, thanks girl. hoping to practice my pitching and playing.
i think i suck.
i've no money and no talent
i cant learn what i want..
i really want to learn the piano and violin, but... i'm too poor and too busy..
maybe i should just be satisfied with what i have now.

i'm really tired now.
i always cheer people and encourage them, but it is i who need cheering up and encouragement. i need friends..
it may seem i have a lot of them but how many are actually close enough to know the real me?
no one does..
no one bothers to try..
everyone rejects me..
i'm an outcast
i'm a nobody..
a useless good for nothing nobody

and yes i'm a hopeless romantic and i still like her

2007-09-16T17:21:00.000+08:00

well
this week i finished studying/doing

first 5 chapters of phyics
4 promo papers for maths ( some qns left out )
tutorial 10a maths
market structures and gov intevention

minimal work but things are going in the right direction..
next week will test the limits of me haha!
gotta get going for promos...

2007-09-13T13:14:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
If you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Cause your presence still lingers in me
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds they don't seem to heal
This pain is just too real

2007-09-02T20:43:00.000+08:00

What hurts the most
Was being there
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been

2007-08-31T20:21:00.000+08:00

I just wanted you to know
that i’m here
if you ever needed me
i'll be there for you
but it's something
which i could never do,
if you keep avoiding me.

2007-08-31T16:43:00.000+08:00

when singing becomes a chore
you wont see me smile anymore

2007-08-28T22:16:00.001+08:00

new song new methods of doing thing
stress load increased proportionately too
how am i gonna cope?
how am i?
without your support...

2007-08-27T22:49:00.000+08:00

i fear that those rumours will spoil another friendship
or what i thought was a friendship

2007-08-25T20:58:00.000+08:00

today was a drag.
there was a make up lecture for geog today in school. woke up at 845
ate breakfast and went to school.
for the first 15 mins of the lecture i was stoning and not absorbing anything at all.
next half an hour was busy talking here and there haha!
well was suppose to eat at plaza singapura but yuhan says yuduan is gonna study with her so no need to waste time.. sian..
well since no lunch. i went to ask mushi. we went to plaza yamaha.
i went to look at the classical vocal scores haha! whoo expansive.
bought a tuning fork coz the old one i had was bent.. for some reason unknown to me..
then had lunch at mac with mushi, talked abit.
went home after that.
prepared to go out for a family gathering at around 4
did my hair and was quite pleased with it.

family gathering? what family? everyone was either watching soccer, smoking or little children.
all i could do was eat. which was uh!
couldnt wait to leave for home.

oh i change my frame coz the last one broke in a fight with my sis. damn!

2007-08-24T23:23:00.000+08:00

woo! rehearsals today.. wah i sucked mah.. what sucky singing was that.. the people were kind to not say anything bout it.. haha(:
well after that went to choir..
mr toh was there..
he's a professional..
he's voice is powerful and strong haha!
whoo i almost moved to bass 1! thank god..
well after choir i went to talked to him.. he said my pitching is good better at lower notes not really tenor.. haha lucky i was sick.. i wonder how i will fare if i'm well and in top form.. (:
after that practiced with the band a few hundred times.
haha(:
well ended quite well
we had to squeeze into darren's dad's car(:
lost feeling of my left arm haha(:

2007-08-23T20:57:00.000+08:00

JUst watched secret(:
despite the econs test tomorrow, eileen, mushi, theresa and me, we went to watch Secret
it's was really nice.. the storyline was good, the music was good. i almost cried but i held it back in thinking no one would cry. but alas someone did.

wed

2007-08-22T21:21:00.000+08:00

i got a sudden impulse to blog haha!
well today had gp test and finished it 15 mins before time's up. Mrs tan was so surprised at that.
tomorrow there's physics test and i havent hit the books.. sighs.
today we had choir at the container class
my illness got worst.. from flu to sorethroat in the morning then cough in the afternoon and during choir, fever.
how am i gonna survive?
well ReVamped got into the teachers' day celeb..
looking forward to it with anticipation(:
oh yea choir haha(:
well today was boring.. things changed a lot since the seniors left. sighs..
i wonder what will happen to us in future?
our survival hangs in the balance..
well hope i get well soon from my flu sore throat cough and fever sickness(:

fireworks

2007-08-18T23:38:00.000+08:00

today i went to watch fireworks with karen and her mom..
before that i went shopping for cufflings with them at taka.. karen's mom kept looking at me..
haha! i found out later from karen that it's cause her mom saw me before and kept thinking about where..
after that karen complained that her stomach's rumbling so we went to grab a bite at the basement me and karen ate japanese noodles and they kept saying how the jap noodles at cineleisure was nicer haha! and they talked about the history of singapore.. about lky and malaysia and the british and WWII heehee!
after that we took a train to raffles place, karen says she's smart for thinking of that go figure..
the area around esplanade was crowded we walk to somewhere where we could get a better view...
the wait for the fireworks was a long one.. we saw the remote controlled kites and then fireworks. I heard from karen that the fireworks was from China, because of the colours and flowers..
haha! it was so cute hearing ppl around shouting WAH!! karen still say wanna shout too.. luckily i didnt listen to her. paiseh shouting alone... haha!
well the fireworks lasted for around 15 mins then we walked back towards the mrt..
the atmosphere around was like genting because of the smoke from the fireworks and the chilly weather.
we decided to walk to clark quey to take a mrt as it'll be less congested and we'd have to squeeze with less people.
well we reached clark quey and i went to the toilet then karen's mom wanted to go to the ladies too, so me and karen went to sit by the river to talk.. yea.. tooks some photos..

sighs..

here's the sad part..
well here goes

we were talking la and the people beside us were smoking so i asked her if she wanted to move, she said no. asked if she wants me to tell them to be considerate she said no too.
she said she's "racist" and afraid they'll beat me up.........
haha!
we talked a bit more then she said she couldnt take it anymore so we decided to move...
i stood up first then i sensed something is about to happen and i wanted to tell her but when i turned around... she screamed and i saw the phone dropped on the step and into the water..
gosh i feel so bad.. she was so depressed and her mom didnt make it any better.. she keep blaming her that she played with her phone and it's her fault that it dropped.. but i was quick to defend her i told her.. on the way back i could see karen was pissed.. she was on the verge of tears.. hmm.. luckily she didnt cry.. i would have cried too.. i cant stand people shedding tears especially girls..
sighs..
well karen could still smile and say "at least i would get a new phone"
she's so strong, i admire that bout her..
but on the way back
i was thinking

"i'm such a jinx...
i could just die la.."

sighs.. emo again... just kill me la...

2007-08-16T23:30:00.001+08:00

i fell in love with the wrong girl at the wrong time...
never possible

2007-08-13T21:36:00.000+08:00

ooh short post to tell all

eh.. well mushi got into the song writing competition finals congrats
i found a new old friend saralyn(: talking to her now...

revamped sounds good i sound bad sighs!! how?

miss ong is being replaced! such bad news had to come now? why?

choir concert on the 15th! just a few days
feeling the need to memorise..

ppl say miss hazel called me attention seeker
miss hazel corrected and say i may seem like one heeheeX) well that made my day

well overload of tutorials and homework! suffocating from it!!

found out my class is full of petty people and hypocrites

got busted for copying work sighs.. how dumb was i? luckily mr leong was nice haha!
sorry hongqing

well tomorrow's another day of mundane school life and things to spice up my life is getting less and lesser..

2007-07-28T16:00:00.000+08:00

uh. was suppose to meet zhenzhi at macs today morning, damn i overslept! woke up at 9plus and slacked around until 11 when i started to change and do my hair. argh another pimple on my face yuck!
i left the house at 1130am and went on my way to bishan to meet xinrui for lunch. missed the bus and hailed a cab there~ 4bucks goodness~
anyway reached there and found her waiting.. she looked cute in her ponytail and skirt haha~ not sure if i had seen her so femanine before.. haha! she gave me my long overdue present haha! i wonder what is it? (: anyway we walk around looking for a place to dine and settled with mosburger. we couldnt find any other joint which had empty seats, everywhere was crowded as usual.
We ate in almost complete silence la.. awkward.. she was so shy that i became shy myself. argh!
after lunch we took a walk around.. things were quite okay then.. we went up and down several times before i asked her to watch harry potter with me.. damn the stupid time slots.. 310 killed me~
anyway there was nothing to do la so we continued walking around.. saw sheena and learnt that sheena's in the same class as xinrui! argh~ i sense a blackmail coming along anyway! we went to the library but was so crowded that we decided to go home.
i saw her home~ on the bus haha! tvmobile was showing some opera thing and we were laughing here and there~ haha!
walked her home la then i went home.. we left each other with just a goodbye(:

japanese cemetery park

2007-07-26T21:45:00.000+08:00

today's a bad day for me..
i dont know why but i feel super pissed at everything that's going around me!
first is Jocelyn- dunno why her attitude towards me is like changed totally what's up with that.
second was choir where i dunno i couldnt stand it that everyone is making fun of my singing. sighs.. my dreams have been dashed and put on cold storage. please dont take them out and start stepping on them again and AGAIN and AGAIN!!
third was Aaron~ he's a freaking bastard (forgive me for my language). just talking to him on the phone was enough to convince me that he's an idiot. he started scolding vagularities at me which i cant stand (although occassionally i say them) i swear if he was infront of me and my temper then i could have beaten the daylights out of him.
what's happen to me? i feel like a barbarian~
Vanity is a sin haha! i realised im starting to look at myself in the mirror more than often in school.. gatsby wax is the root of this haha! i shall stop bringing it to school now.. haha~
hmm today i went to the japanese cemetery to take some photos for schooool~! chinese teacher better thank me well.. it was so eriee there being alone gosh!
hope they dont see anything else inside
hmm should i photoshop teacher's pic into the photos? haha!

laters~

2007-07-13T20:44:00.000+08:00

woah today is a strange day
went to school, supposedly to do PW
but all my group did was ( well i did ) to collate the different WRs into 1.
then me jiahui yongzhi and yu han started to gossip. jocelyn was playing mindsweeper on my com
haha! jiahui and yu han asked some really perverse questions.. and luckily yongzhi is the one who's been targeted
later when it's time for GP lecture almost the whole class skipped the lecture.
we stayed in a class most sleeping while i was watching final fantasy advart childern
then we went for maths lecture..
went for oral which totally sucks
then wanted to go for Kbox with yongjin and the guys but.. haosheng suddenly called me and asked me to go for choir prac wth.. sian had to cancel them..
well i reached school and they were singing the lullaby song..
haha then they sang you are loved..
woah we sang it once then it sounded karaoke haha! i guessed that's what happen when you play background music..
then we sang it again.. piano..
then suddenly mr tay asked me to sing the solo part.. i was like shocked but sang it.. haha! not wonderfully anyway~
then some things went on...
bryan suddenly reminded me of something i wanted to do a long time ago...
i wished to be a singer..
i wanted to find a teacher to teach me..
suddenly it all came back to me..
amazing.. well friday the thirteen aint that bad~

after exams

2007-07-01T21:08:00.000+08:00

what a boring day
didnt have anything to do so i got another blogskin..
well didnt sleep a wink yesterday night
stayed up listening to music
come to think of it,
i heard a lot of songs i never knew i knew
haha! oh wells i think the next thing for this blog is a song.. yeap off to find one then
(:

realizeation

2007-06-19T21:18:00.000+08:00

today i know
how much i mean to her
i could die infront of her
and she would just stare
maybe a smirk on her face
our eyes cant meet
without her looking away
i cant smile at her
i cant look at her
i cant be with her
never gone
my feelings for her
someone please rip her from my heart
rip all the things i like about her
block off all attractions
cut off all connections
prevent the love from every leaking out again
never again please

my world my tears

2007-06-19T08:23:00.000+08:00

when will the day come
when stop waking up in tears
i can feel the dream has ended
because i can feel the pain back in my heart
with you now gone
nothing can fill this blackhole void in my heart
my whole world is collasping
at the sight of you
your laughter
your smile
still captures my soul
free me
free me from all this pain and suffering
dont leave me dying
dont leave me
please

studying at school

2007-06-13T17:56:00.000+08:00

my friends around tell me to give up..
have i not?
i cant control myself from liking her..
all i can do is stop the courtship..

she's still not used to it...
i know..
but what can i do?
i may not be the dream she wanted to come true..
but i'll always be the man in love with her..

stop me..
save me..
help...

2007-06-11T13:55:00.000+08:00

woots! i got a new laptop to play with haha!(: cant get my hands off it! die ler:P
anyway now "studying" with mushi at macs.. heehee he's studying i'm slacking..
wow! just saw his cool blog!! impressed impressed! hehehe! must try to beat him sia!(:
woots 2 weeks left to midyears already.. well 1 week for me coz next week there are stuff to do.. stgabs choir practice and camp woots cant wait.
what a hectic first half of the month for me..
so many things happened..
1st 3 months class chalet( first time i drank )
choir chalet!( second time i drank third and forth)
class chalet( first time i drank beer )
hahah!(: oops
great! my PW group's finally moving on.. decided to send an e-mail to the assistant director of the boys home yea!(:
okay okay should get back to studying now.. hadnt dont anything yet!! damn! stress

2007-05-20T02:33:00.000+08:00

woots lyrics created by theresa and me(:
edited over and over again.
heehees(: hope i can get a melody out soon:)
mushi!!!

我梦见了你，
跨越海洋，
梦见了你。
在世界的某个角落，我伫立着。
但愿风会把这首歌交给你。
轻轻的
悄悄的
表达了我的意。

如进，世界的一切隔绝了你我。
我唯一的梦想是能和你在一起。
和你在海边度过永恒的每一天。
能紧紧抱着你，
感受你的温暖。

可是这毕竟是无法实现的梦境，
不切实际的愿望。

即使日夜颠倒，
季节转变，
我们还是会在月球的同一边。
为什么你的自尊使你逃避？
难道你对我只有害怕和躲避？
从未开始的一切，在此完毕。
我只请求你，让我记住你那美妙的声音。

我爱你。
你怎么想？
我爱你。
又如何？
我想给你的爱，是否在某天能被证明？
那答案永远不会揭晓。

即使日夜颠倒，
季节转变，
我们还是会在月球的同一边。
为什么你的自尊使你逃避？
难道你对我只有害怕和躲避？
从未开始的一切，在此完毕。
我只请求你，让我记住你那美妙的声音。

从未开始的一切，在此完毕。
我只请求你，让我记住你那美妙的声音。

2007-05-13T22:37:00.000+08:00

yay! the song is almost done..
chorus and lyrics need to be put in(:
lalalas(:

2007-05-05T22:53:00.000+08:00

hahahs(: today was our prac at MPR.. hahas i hate my hair looks so ugly!! ahh!! hahahs(:
anyway today we were okay in the morning but after lunch all was bad..
i guess it was the floor ball match between the guys basses + poh boon versus fanbin + me + altos
hahahs(: wanna make a guess who won??
:D
hahahs we were all so tired la..
well i guess that's the reason for my energy drop:D
anyways..
after choir we did some stuff waited for eileen and then me mushi and nicholyn went to the TOOT(too out of tune) piano hahahs(: and played some songs brained stormed me and mushi's songs and we're progressing:D
oohs i'm hopful(:
soon

wait for me(:

NO choir?

2007-04-20T20:25:00.000+08:00

today there no choir practices were scheduled.
planned to go home and study but suddenly didnt feel like it.
reached home at 3 plus and slacked until now.
sighs..
feeling damn empty without something to do today.
started practicing singing! but it wasnt the syf pieces but funny funny songs that i found in my mp3.
still using my throat to sing i guess?
trying trying hope i can get a solo soon(:
ate a packet of chocolate then went to buy dinner.
hmms..
thats all for now i guess.. my mind's all blank.
wanna go to sleep! rawhs!

2007-04-17T19:10:00.000+08:00

what's wrong with me nowadays..
i feel sad and gloomy but i still face my peers with mask of smiles.
sigh!
well today's another day in school no choir though
feels a bit weird la but a break would hurt anyone right?
didnt see her today..
maybe i shouldnt even try..
i should avoid her all the time..
that should help me to forget her right?
i dont know what i should really do?
should i treat her as invisible and just walk past her eventhough i see her in the corridors?
can i even speak to her at all?
this is all so vexing..
smsed nicholyn yesterday night..
i guess to her i was feeling emo dunno fell asleep before i read her last message though..
whoops.. i dreamt again..
i cant stop myself
it's something like that dream but.. in a different senario
i think my mind's screwed up..
help me please!?

SECTIONALS!!

2007-04-15T01:25:00.000+08:00

today is another day to laze in bed
but i had to get up to go to school
yea you heard me right to school on a saturday for choir practice
sectionals was ok la a bit of stress.. monday had chior auditions for syf.
hope i make it. not i will feel even more useless.
sectionals was fun too..
hahahas
zheng zhi taught me and jackson the first part of the mass dance cool eh..
fun fun:D side track from the practice lor
haha
me and jackson were good students yea!:D
it seems that i cannot focus much nowadays whenever she's around me..
i cant help but look at her..
missed a few duludulus and balabalas here and there coz of that..
well cant blame her..
i can only blame myself for liking her..
sighs.. why am i so emo leh.. crazy lor..
i didnt like her.. i only liked her after we stopped talking..
does that even sound logical??
hmm.. i dunno hahas
well anyway after sectionals went with junxian and the rest to PJC choir concert
hahahs
they rocked man miss ong rocked too its like whooh! hahahs:D
a lot of nice songs.. cords were good here and there.. overall it was good
wild empire was spectacular as always
hahahs:D
highly recommended:D
reached home and went online..
so here i am typing away on my com
talked to stella. she also wants to go for the phantom of the opera! cool i've got a companion now:D
jacqueline and me like becoming so distant now.. hmm.. hope things change for the better
i wanna talk to her..
how?
can someone tell me what to do??
sighs..

APASSIONATA

2007-04-15T00:41:00.000+08:00

woots! yesterday was the concert! hahahas! still rememebered how much effort was put into it..
hmm.. although results werent that good but... i think it's still okay.. hope choir members were happy with their performance la.
haha.. when we reach vch, me and haosheng sat in the hall at the back we started reminscing bout our past performance in vch.. ahhh good times..
then he said stella said her friend saw something on the celling of the stage.. something bout there being little children wearing white gowns.. hahah.. still i could resist.. i went to see.. twice:P
still there's nothing la.. hahas throughout the time people were checking out the rumor too:P
well we practiced at the foyer and i must say i sounded pretty good.. maybe the acoustics there's nice too i dunno every time choirs rehearsed there seems nice hahah.. a female tourist came and check us out and said "perfect" to our tequiero... haha we were so full of ourselves right there and then..
went on stage and rehearsed.. wow.. really brings back memories of the times i performed when i was in st gabs choir.. things now's so different and unfamiliar.. last time me and haosheng were the ones telling ppl what to do.. haha now we had to stand there and listen to things we used to say to our juniors ironic isnt it?
well then it's dinner lor.. me and hs took the lift to the first floor and ate there and discussed certain things.. hahah we settled on singing a song for the end of year concert with PHS and holy high yearly
hahah:D
longest time! hahah:D hope i can sing the solo there yea! sighs.. my long wish la! sian i overcame stage fright like long ago ler..
then mr na came and we chatted a while with him.. talked bout miss ong and such, we finished up our dinner and went back to the hall for another round of practice.
after that we went to change and do our make up.. mushi did my hair :D cool eh.. we are mushi duplicates!
concert time!!
hahahs! fun fun everyone was so nervous and it's feels so surreal to me.. haha i was like so calm admist everyone's nervous soul.. keep telling them to calm down and breathe in and out slowly..
hahas..
well surprise surprise the concert went quite well la.. of course we sped up a lot of times and stuff.. hahas.. i peeked at her whenever i had the chance.. and pitching was a problem
but they werent too serious la.. at least everyone enjoyed themselves.. hahahs:D saw dexter..
nicholyn got a whole bunch of flowers hahahas:D jealous leh!!
hahahas i got some myself.. nice nice hehes
well we ended with a bang i suppose you can say that hahahas:D everyone had fun and a great learning experience for everyone and me too..
learn much from miss ong and the choir people.. really love them..

if only

2007-04-09T21:47:00.000+08:00

every morning i stand by the gate
hoping to take a glance at her
i want to be alone with her to tell her my feelings
but it never could happen, that i know
because we're not even friends anymore

every chance i have i would peek at her
always hoping she would look back
those eyes of hers are now so unfamiliar
she's never the one i intended to
but some things are unpredictable

if i could just gather every ounce of courage
just to speak to her
would i be contented?
will it just stop there?
i guess i'll never know
i lookingf into the crowd and i see everyone else
everyone else but her
is this predestined? that we are not even fated to be together
if only i could see her smile at me again
if only

2007-02-26T19:59:00.000+08:00

whoopie!! today i officially end my time at MI..
i woke up at 730 and prepared to leave home for the day.
i tell you the train was packed like a can of sardines.. i was practically squeezed and pushed into the train! oh how trecherous is thy morning rush..
well reached bukitbatok MRT and saw RongYi at the interchange..
we talked on our way to school:P hmmm.. she's the one who told someone in her class that i liked WeiLing...sighs....
well handed in the form and left school.. on the way out mr singh or something questioned me..
i was taken aback that her know Mr Marcel lee.. sighs.. what a drag.
the journey back home was filled with music and loneliness thats all..
reached home and slept thru the day..
hahas well thats how i spent the day lar(:

2007-02-09T18:17:00.000+08:00

today is the day our o level results are released..
i think many would consider that i did well but...
i dunno why i dont feel happy..
maybe coz the ppl around me didnt do so well..
or maybe it's just the way they react to their results..
i dont know..
was using messenger when godsis came online..
natural reaction would be to ask how well she did.. she said it was bad..
told me not to talk about it..
then she said dont talk anymore.. sighs..
it must have been such a heavy blow for her..
i hope she gets over it soon...

"what a sad sad day it is for me"

2007-02-07T20:14:00.000+08:00

people's attitute changes overnight..
that's what's so disheartening..
i hope i dont lose my friends in the end..
could there be a reason i always ask myself..
maybe i am not good enough to be your friend?
i dunno.
if so.. please say something.. dont remain silent and leave me pondering why the big change in your attitude

2007-02-01T21:14:00.000+08:00

today i went to bukit batok secondary again
that mean i have to wait from 1:15 to 4:30
WHAT TO DO??
haas(: then arthur suggested i crash his classes physics and 2 periods of chinese
what luck even before i step into physics class i was spotted sighs.. so i decided to go somewhere else
remembered hana was having suspension so i went to find her.. yea we sat and talked then another girl was having detention to so we chatted a while la
then this teacher came and scolded us for using the handphone and chased me away WTH!
but just nice the physics class ended(: met regina and the group to go to chinese class haas(:
guess what i was spotted again.. that teacher's not bad can spot me out haas(: but with my talents i managed to stay on:D
had quite a bit of fun there lar..
then i head on to bukit batok sec, met guanlin and chanya at the bus stop talk for a while then headed for the school.
the choir was kinda fun. miss yee asked me to give my opinions. and i did wholeheartedly yea the pro side of me.. then they all not happy want me to sing to prove to them how good i am.. miss yee "helped" by saying i'll sing next week then they cheered[gosh!]
went home listening to only one song.. Per Te
haas so shall prepare for my "bukit batok sec debut"
yups thats about all that happened(:
till next time(;

2007-01-31T20:57:00.000+08:00

woots!
today went to a KTV
haas(: the kind that aunties go to one..(quoted from chanya)
anyway
today the group of us met after school at the grand stand.
me, chanya, guanlin, timothy.. the four of us yup
we walked to west mall on the way met chanya's and guanlin's friend
guanlin invited him to join us in our singing expedition
so the 5 of us went to take an MRT to bugis, from there we were suppose to take bus 12 from opposite the MRT station.. we crossed the road only to find out it's the other side we came from -_-" rotten!
the bus came but didnt stop cause no on flagged the bus thus we missed the bus.
sighs! GUANLIN!!!!
---
we saw a 7seater taxi hahas(: cool eh.. first of its kind.. kinda like sitting in a friend's dad's car. no old taxi smell(:
took the taxi to katong shopping centre..
strange place..
regina told us its at B1 then a shop keeper told us it's at level 2..
so we blur blur walk around.. guanlin the daring one went around asking for the whereabouts of the KTV
haas(:
at last we found the place.. got some strange name to it.. oolu oolu place
----
we went in. had to wear their shirts coz no school u allowed..
price was 3 hours for 18 bucks extreamly cheap(",)
hahas(: we toyed with the controller and found out how to use it finally
choose our songs(: alot of jay chou etc.
CHANYA SOUNDS REALLY NICE AND SWEET wow
haas(: so unexpected la.. my singing sucks lol
well then we took a taxi back
more details inside but a bit perverse la.. shhh! dont ask k
---
byebyes(:

2007-01-26T17:51:00.000+08:00

hi blog
it's been a while huh..
i've been busy...
today wanted to go to NYP with someone... but she say she's not going..
after school she smses me and says she's going..
haha and then she says she'll be there a while and most likely wont meet me so i decided not to go..
waited for chanya and guanling to go home together but they were busy so i had to go home alone
well smses samantha on the way home and we decided to meet at city hall mrt coz she has to go to work.. yups and needs to buy stockings..
went there to wait for her at starbucks.
drank my favourite drink java chips frappe(:
when she reached she told me her friend was coming.. so yup we sat around waiting a while for her friend..
then erm.. they wanted to eat beancurd yah i think it's beancurd but decided not to coz sam says it's too far..
so we went to a kopitiam somewhere where i dunno where it is and had erm.. ice cream? ya
lol took before and after pictures too:P

hurms then we went home yup tomorrow meeting samantha at yio chu kang mrt to go to nyp together with her gang haas(:

oh yar on one of our outing we took a pic.. hurms..

LOL chanya say i'll look good when i'm thinnerX)

day

2007-01-16T21:35:00.000+08:00

what a day..
i did things i wouldnt normally do
saw things i shouldnt have seen *yucks*

what a day
haas
lit was fun
physics was boring
etcetc
shall not dwell on it anymore

tatas

tenth january two thousand and seven

2007-01-10T18:02:00.000+08:00

cool! school using a cash card system in the canteen haas(: no need to bring cash ler(: well that's like the most interesting thing in school lar.. eh.. NO NO there's something even more interesting haas(:
hmmm.. i shant put it on my blog.. in case a certain someone scolds me AGAIN!! haas(:
well tata that's all for now

Today!

2007-01-09T19:41:00.000+08:00

hey hey! haas(: today we went to Chanya's house's gym.. well condo's gym(: haas so cool.. small but really really fun.. :P
well we then went to take some snap shots! so fun.. posted them here! enjoy!

the ride home

2007-01-08T19:41:00.000+08:00

haha.. i feel happy that i took the long way home...
i dunno why i guess it beats going home alone..
it was fun with them.. the games and the gossips..
it is fun..
haas(: hope i can always do that..
well thats all
love

last min call(:

2006-12-30T02:30:00.000+08:00

haas(: sis dragged me to orchard yesterday(: haas
cools.. we snuck in to the private sale :P with the help of a lady who was waiting for her bf haas(: so helpful thanks(: god bless her! yup went in to buy a induction cooker:P it was not heavy lar.. but troublesome carrying it around:P haas carried it to plaza sinapura and then to kovan.. hope it didnt break carian:P haas(:
carian went to look at belts after that:P she looked nice white belt would be nicer so she didnt buy the black billabong $40 belt and decided to go.. erm.. where was it again? i forgot but nvm haas so we went to plaza singapura to eat carl's junior..
sighs.. sis was so thrifty that i felt bad eating the burger while she ate bread.. well we shared the drink.. iced tea yeah? yup and she went for contacts haas(: after that we went home..
took some nice pics(: haas enjoy then:P

two days later

2006-12-27T15:46:00.000+08:00

hmms.. today i went to xinghua primary to collect uniform for my sister.. gosh carian only sent me an sms.. luckily i was able to wake up.. hurms.. CARIAN!! haas(: received sms from alex but decided not to reply.. scared later sms blow again.. my mother's gonna drown me with her nagging again.. well i really liked the freedom i had these few days.. parents returning tomorrow at around 5.. yupps
anyway after waiting in line for eternity i finally got the uniform and then proceed to hougang mall to meet ningxin and her gang haas(: well we went to hougang plaza's coffee shop for lunch.. haas had banmian.. i think shimin started talking about OBS and the ghost there.. haas the others link to the sanitary conditions of the camp and stuff i swore i could've puked there haas had to stop to make sure i dont.. haas(:
i was fun lar.. we were heading to ningxin's house lar.. stopped by the ATM to withdraw money.. stopped by 7-11 coz they wanted to buy something haas jac bought a magazine and everyone's fighting over it.. lol wendy left halfway and when we reached Nx's house, she was told off by her mom haas and her mon only allows the girls to go but not the boys so i went home lar..
took 82 saw clara at heartland mall doing flag day haas
walked home and it drizzled
so now here i am typing on my com..
having absolutely no life..
haas(:
gotta go
bye

christmas..

2006-12-26T01:29:00.000+08:00

it's really bothering me.. i spent christmas with carian talking online..smsing and stuff
i lay on my bed and thought about what happened last year.. haas our first kiss on bus 81 unforgettable.. that feeling.. undescrible.. sighs.. i'm here alone this year bored alone..
wanna cry out
wanna hug someone..
i dunno just feels empty..

esplanade: ACJC

2006-12-23T12:06:00.000+08:00

woah! i'm so impressed by ACJC's performance yesterday.. i was great and it really moved me.. haas.. i still cant get over seeing mr tay perform.. hurms.. i dunno it's just this strange feeling.. unfamiliarity.. hmm.. oh wells.. haas.. there was this guy in the first row who's always moving his eye brows.. strange haas...
Alto section there's this person who has that cheeky look on her face.. haas all their expressions we exaggerated and body language communicates with the crowd well.. nice..
wow.. i wonder when i can sing that high.. hurms.. I MUST PRACTICE!! AHHH!!
haas
after the concert had supper with the holy innocents ppl.. what a rowdy bunch.. but fun nevertheless.. was great hanging out with them lar.. haas and wendy bought me a drink... hey.. i paid for it... gosh.. she owes me money!! ahh hahahas

well i'll end here..
tata

a rainy tuesday in december

2006-12-19T22:51:00.000+08:00

watched the rain fall again.. staring out i was thinking bout the days we had.
haas so bored! went out to something at ACS barker.
hurms.
haas on the way there i got lost and had to take a taxi.. the crazy thing i did was offer a cute girl a ride to the place she wanted to go haas.. :P wanted to get her number but didnt have the guts! argh! so sad. anyway ACS looks nice haas walked in the rain and got to the oldham hall.. what a strange name.
the food was okay i guess. chocolate fondue and stuff so fattening. need to exercise!
wend home after. walked in the HEAVY RAIN and went home to realise my dad was at home! gosh.
sighs.
haas

rain rain rain

2006-12-17T21:34:00.000+08:00

sighs.. what a day..
it's be raining for eons.. when will it stop?
spent the whole day sleeping.. comfortable(:
hurms..
now i having cold war with my mum not talking to her:P super bad kenny!
haas
well online for a while to chat and do stuff..
read my blog often(:
byes..

2006-12-15T22:13:00.000+08:00

i was bored =P

2006-12-15T22:01:00.000+08:00

You Took My Heart Away

Staring at the moon so blue
Turning all my thoughts to you
I was without hopes or dreams
I tried to dull an inner scream
But you...
Saw me through

Walking on a path of air
See your faces everywhere
As you melt this heart of stone
You take my hand to guide me home
And now...
I'm in love

You took my heart away
When my whole world was gray
You gave me everything
And a little bit more
And when it's cold at night
And you sleep by my side
You become the meaning of my life

Living in a world so cold (living in a world so cold)
You are there to warm my soul (you are there to warm my soul)
You came to mend a broken heart
You gave my life a brand new start
And now...
I'm in love

You took my heart away
When my whole world was gray
You gave me everything
And a little bit more
And when it's cold at night
And you sleep by my side
You become the meaning of my life

Holding your hand
I won't fear tomorrow
Here where we stand
We'll never be alone

You took my heart away
When my whole world was gray
You gave me everything
And a little bit more
And when it's cold at night
And you sleep by my side
You become the meaning of my life
You become the meaning of my life
You become the meaning
You become the meaning of my life

2006-12-09T00:00:00.000+08:00

craps.. i feeling so unwell now.. i wanna cry.. so cold at different parts of my body.. so warm at others.. could it be fever? i dunno.. i suddenly dont feel sleepy now.. sighs.. wanna talk to someone.. but seems like no one will be willing to listen.. sighs.. why? why me? i feel like dying now.. hurms.. will someone release me from my discomfort??
sighs..

2006-12-08T22:37:00.000+08:00

haha today went iceskating.. so fun.. went round and round.. then collided with a few people around.. gosh.. it's so difficult sighs.. fell down so many times. i injure my legs and had to limp back home haha.. first thing i did was switch on the computer.. haha so sian!! was thinking.. she's still as bitchy as ever and so bad attitude to me.. wth i cant stand it.. at the same time.. sighs.. i dunno leh.. what should i do?? i wanna cry.. sighs

2006-12-08T02:11:00.000+08:00

i was bored so i decided to upload some pictures i too with people hahas enjoy(:

holy innocents choir!

at the class gathering

me and wendy

that boring night and my ugly face:P

me and jaslyn after singout2006

miss yee and me! she looks unprepared:P

me and carian:)

haha well thats all for now.. have fun making fun of my face:P

2006-12-08T01:40:00.000+08:00

walked home... misty skies, highly hung moon.. what a ghostly night! i felt cold and scared.. well.. so many things happen today..
went to take pictures with edwin, whom wants to test out his photography skills. haha.. well quite nice, but... i realised my but looks too big!! oh my gosh.. die..

lol sighs.. this was taken outside vch.. thanks edwin!
haha future professional photographer!
well we took photos from 4 to around 7 haha took over 40 pictures.. lol edwin was super enthu..
hurms.. after that went for concert at vch.. hougang secondary band..
hmmm.. it's quite okay bah.. i'm just being kind. well a lot of out of tune notes and mistakes haha quite funny me and clarence was laughing at every mistake.. jelly was like a bullet train, cant stop at all haha..
after the concert we went to marina square for supper? had meat ball congee.. it was nice.. shall go back there to eat somemore.. we decide to go iceskating tomorrow and couldnt find enough people.. so i went on a calling spree hahas sorry guys and girls that i called..
tomorrow will be fun..
oh gosh i'm hungry rawh!! copy jaslyn!!(: lols(: love you people.. byess
P.S. more pictures below!!

2006-12-05T23:36:00.000+08:00

haha(: today had swensens with mum at JORONG haha crap.. was super tired and bored to death had steak and icecream! i remember it being called ring a ding dong or something haha what a strange name(: anyway.. after that had a call from jelly.. to go to harbourfront to take a walk with her.. we ended up talking about her ex..
lol! on the train there she told me she was going to be the emcee for the concert on thursday i was like stunned! haha it's gonna hilarious seeing her on staged(: i tried to help her correct her script which was so dull and boring to me i think.. and most likely to the audience.. but no pen and no pencil was available so no editing was made. at harbourfront we chatted about her concert and her songs.. oh i told her to let me teach her encore song haha so bhb right? i know.. i feel so bad keep reminding her.. sighs.. eh.. carl's jr was dindin. the burgur was humongous andi felt full eating it.. first time!! should go there more often=D back at home at around 8..
hurms.. satisfying day(: not too severly boring i might add(:

2006-12-02T21:17:00.000+08:00

haha i suddenly think i feel redundent in the world..
what have i done? what impact have i made?
nothing actually..
hmmm i think the world would be a better place without me.. wouldnt you say so?
oh silly me.. no one will read this blog anyway right?
my shatttered dreams and broken heart.. i think i should throw them away..
*waves* bye bye
haha i'm really useless.. haha
sighs..
anyway bought a present today for xinye haha
church was loud and fun..
nothing more to say..
-end-

2006-12-02T01:12:00.000+08:00

argh my body is still aching from that crazy fall i had outside SCH haha thanks to all the Ds who helped me up(: haha my butt and head is still bruised.. hope i get better soon..
so many things happened.. sorry thats all i have to say.. forgive me pls(:
wanna add a new song to the blog so look forward to it guys and gals(:
love you all(",)

SING OUT 2006

2006-12-01T00:33:00.000+08:00

my name is kenny and this is my blog(: happy reading!

haha today was sing out! yes! after our long hours of grueling practices and trainings we've finally performed it. we're all tired and exhausted from the day! yup but i still went to have supper with xinye wendy and the gang. OH my GOSH!! i didnt realise she will smoke.. sighs.. utterly disappointed how can she do that. infront of her juniors and friends somemore.. sighs.. *shakes head* anyway had some pictures take which i will upload sometime later(: haha yay miss yee gave us chocolates and i took some pics with miss yee too. haha miss yee so cute lor:P
sighs wished the year didnt pass so fast.. gonna miss the practices and happy times with other school choirs and what'll learn from mr lee mr tay and of course miss yee! thanks to all teachers too! miss pan and miss ng although the possibility they will read my blog is really low(:
yes lucky me(: haha hope everyone enjoyed singout! hope and pray that god blesses all of them and that our 3 choirs will get gold for syf next year(: work hard guys and girls! i'll be rooting for you(: love you guys:P

2006-11-25T16:35:00.000+08:00

LOL the Os are over and i'm wishing it wasn't..ironic isnt it? i'm feeling bored now..
only things i'm doing now is
1. rehearsals for SINGOUT2006
2. look for a job( which has been really unsuccessful)
3. go out with random gatherings and outings organised by my friends
feeling fustrated, tired and lifeless.. sighs.. anyone!! please as me out!! i'm bored to the bones!oh well..

singout rehearsals were fantastic..
full of life, fun and more fun(: oh the only bad thing was that i had to sell those donation tickets for miss ng which was totally embarassing.. i had to go around asking people and i was close to begging:'( anyway thanks ANNA and DARREN.. they're real pals.. oh Anna's hand writing was really beautiful.. hmm.. haha..
hmm i felt that my singing has improved a bit.. haha even luke says that(: can reach higher notes and not go flat.. wow Os helped me accomplish that..
I have a sore throat.. hope the remaining lozenges helps.. i bought strepsils too hope i'll be fine on monday..

Carian went to work.. that day wanted to look for her... but i think i went to the wrong place..
i was walking for an insanely long period of time and still couldnt find her.. wow the clothes and shoes there were really fabulous.. wish i could buy them some day..(: Jiayou carian..

ok i guess i'll stop here.. gonna go back to my groaning and moaning about being bored!(: cya

a rainy day

2006-09-01T00:38:00.000+08:00

i havent been updating my blog..
sighs... so sad today.. it was raining the whole day lah.. how much worse can it get...
when i woke up.. was feeling damn sick for the day before cause i helped wendy bring her books back home and got caught in the rain.. i wonder if she's okay.. got wet like twice yesterday.. anyway.. i had fever for a while and influenza.. can't take it.. decided not to go to the school thing.. was in a daze and my dad came into my room to give me money:) haha i was like tell him i need an increase in allowence.. and he said okay((: haha then i lazed in bed until 8 plus..
used the com.. tried to redo my blog skin.. was so fustrated lah.. haha..was hungry so i went to buy lunch..laksa!! yay.. but i dont like prawns.. sighs.. and the laksa not nice one.. haiyah next time dont buy from that uncle ler..
well came home and played games online until like 10 la then got ready to go back to PARRY!! yay!haha.. chose a yellow shirt and rolled up its sleeves.. and jeans.. with my shoes.. dunno what they are called.. haha i look funny lah.. my butt so big.. sigh.. SO FAT!
when i was leaving Carian called to ask me to meet her and go to parry together.. of course i said yes lah.. haha.. so i happily took the bus to heartland and waited.. saw melvin at kfc so sat down and chat with him..his hair so funny lah.. pink and blue with glitter.. haha anyway ask him about miss yee.. and he said she very bad temper nowadays.. sighs.. so long also never see her ler.. dunno how she is lah.. later she sick how?? sighs.. well we talked until like 1130? yarh 1130..then they left lor.. and i wandered around heartland mall.. when i received an sms from carian tell me to eat first coz her school hadnt end yet.. and maybe meeting me at 1230..
sight anyway i was hungry so i went to macs to eat lah.. so sick of mac already.. there's only one thing i like lah, is the chicken mcnuggets! haha the aunty dunno what diet coke one leh.. had to eat alone lah.. sat in a small corner eating.. then a group of girls came to the table beside me and started the chattering..OMG save me lah.. i mean how many times can you say "she was like... he was like... i was like.. they were like...she was like... he was like... i was like.. they were like...she was like... he was like... i was like.. they were like..." oh my gosh i had half the mind to tell them off lah.. like that orals sure fail one.. haha. after finishing my meal still had to wait so i bought curly fries to eat.. so sick of them leh.. eat half way dont wanna eat already..then i went back to roaming the heartland mall:)
when i was outside delifrance carian called me lah.. then i stayed there and waited for her..
she greeted me with a piak on my arm.. ouch pls.. she was seeing her friend ester i think off.. yup then we were talking about how it was nearer to meet at her school etc.we walk to parry in the rain... very fun.. she was sick lah.. poor thing.. she keep penting and penting as we walked in..i kept asking her if she's ok.. haha we talked about singing.. and she was prancing around...finally we've reached parry.. wow.. i felt that calming sensation i always had.. relaxing and peaceful..saw guanling at the entrance.. why does she have that look? hmm..
we went around.. and carian wanted to give flowers to her teachers lah..dunno how we ended up at second level of block b.. found one of her teacher and the were talking and talking..(: they were talking bout some alumini dinner then carian talk about me being the head prefect last time and how i can help..so i did i gave her teacher my hp no. for her to call me so i can contact everyone else.. yes.. end of year got things to do ler! haha
we wandered off the find carian's cousin lah.. then dunno how we went to the music room.. there was that familiar surrounding that reminded me of the past.. she said she was in choir.. couldnt recall sia.. SORRY CARIAN! had so much fun playing the piano lah.. sighs.. the old times! then we walked around somemore then decided to leave ler lah..saw my name on the board.. all those memories flooded back..
we walked to heartland and decided to find a place to sit.. carian backaches.. but i saw my sister gotta run later she think carian is my gf.. sian.. so we went to compass point just to avoid her.. on the mrt she showed me messages from the person she likes.. sighs.. poor girl tormented by that person's attitude towards her sighs..
reached compass already the smell of jollie bean freshly baked pancakes flooded our nostrils.. haha.. but we still wandered off.. went to starbucks at first but since she dont like coffee so i said lets go somewhere else lah..(:see gentleman! haha we went to mos burger haha loitered at the entrance for a while then decided to go in ler.. went in and saw wendy and freesia.. haha so surprised! haha wanted to kiss wendy she doged me.. hmphs.. sighs..
found a seat and ordered our food.. me and carian talked and talked and talked for a while.. about her and singing and other things.. after the munching we wanted to go up and do window shopping but.. dunno why we went to cold storage instead haha.. didnt buy anything so we left lor...
more talking on the way and carian treat me pancake! yay cheese! haha
went to take bus 80 home lah.. we chatted on the bus and ate cheese pancake too.. hmm.. then after she left i went to heartland to change bus lor.. but something happen.. i was approached by an auntie lah.. she ask me whether i can french! haha i dunno what she say lah.. fa wen.. i was like er.. no.. then she ask me to speak to the person on her phone it was english lah.. fa wen.. walau.. haha she was going to a job interview lah..talking on her phone made me miss my bus so i hao ren zuo dao di.. bring her to her potential employer's place.. she kept trying to shelter me lah.. but the brollie kept hitting my head so i told her i help her shelter.. haha finally found the place at 2C haha quite easy to find lah actually.. then i walked in the rain.. to take a bus home..
home sweet home.. was wondering what wendy was doing so i called her on her phone lah.. woah.. she sounded so sexy on the phone.. oh my god.. wahahahah.. but she was sleeping so she cut of by accident or what lah.. dunno.. called her again but she never pick up.. :P so so so i fell asleep on the couch..
and thats that lah.. almost all of what i did today! ((: yay.. eh.. its 139am already.. hmmm.. this is almost all of what i did yesterday! haha
haha just got a new assignment from melissa.. lol she want me to wake her up at 6 inthe morning haha just help her lo..if i could wake up..
yay! end of blog.. haha happy reading!

2006-08-27T17:03:00.000+08:00

sighs. another hectic day for me..
amaths and chem..
just realised tomorrow i have chemistry extra lessons.. and its until around 8pm.. sighs.. how am i gonna study for chem prac..i wonder..
thanks hor carian.. made me realised im paying quite a lot for tuition.. haha..sighs.. had another quarrel with my mum.. she says i'm eating too much of lays, and tells me not to drag the family down in future if i have any medical problems etcetc..
i hate her
anyways.. i'm here now typing on my com lah.. viruses everywhere..
sometimes i wonder why we have to strife for improvement?? why cant we just be simple and enjoy life.. what the hell.. can't take it anymore...
there a penknife in my room... next time you see me check me for any signs of mutilation..
okay gotta go..
bye

2006-08-26T20:44:00.000+08:00

wow what a hectic day i had today!haha hadn't sleep the whole night and i was like a zombie lah.. brain not working at all..did my usual speed cleaning for me room which too me about like 5 mins.. haha and my room's clean now!.. lalala.. went to school early in the morning at 8 for physics extra lessons.. n2 again pls.. asking so many questions and didnt know what was going on with me lah.. cheers* anyways after physics was POA till 1030.. haha could do the questions.. whoopi! (: improving? maybe.. worth a celebration! after POA i rushed to kovan for tuition! woah.. tell you fell asleep twice in the room lah.. and time passed so quickly.. before i know it, lesson was over and time for lunch! yay*it's my macdonald's* hahaha nice.. went home and soon after fell asleep(:
i awaken at 5.. lazing on the sofa which if i might add never been more comfortable..haha rushed to tuition which i would not have been late if my mum hadn't bug me to buy bubble tea for her.. hmm.. should have charged her extra for the drink.. sigh.. empty pockets.. i'm so poor lah.. cant even buy a certain someone something special..
so now i'm home typing on my com this blog entry lor..
sighs.. had meegoreng for dinner.. wanted more but.. lazy to cook.. so dont care lah.. haha
okayy thats all for today lahh.((: bye!

2006-08-26T01:26:00.000+08:00

::SONGS UPDATE::

ai wo hai shi ta by Taozhe
to be with you by Mr big
unfaithful by Rihanna
gei wo ni de ai by Tank

movie friday!

2006-08-26T01:04:00.000+08:00

sighs.. this night so sian.. guess what i did.. haha i went to watch a movie with my mummy and both of my younger sisters(: we watched the monster house! who wants the spoiler??
okay so here it goes.. it starts out with a little girl cycling around on her tricycle then was threatened by a grumpy old man...an average curious boy was spying on the creepy old guy thru his telescope in his bedroom just opposite the old man's house..
then in the middle a lot of things happen and then in the end the house was actually the old man's dead wife who died in a cement accident.. and bounded to the house.. the old man was chasing everyone away because he wanted to protect them from her.. a very vague love story thought.. anyway in the end the boy saved the day by throwing dynamite into the house's chimney! whoosh! nice one! haha..
well thats about it..okay i know i know my summary skill are damn bad(X
after the movie came home lah! on the way home smsed carian and wendy.. carian replied but.. wendy i think she was sleeping..
okay was watching tv when my dad ask me to go eat supper with him.. porridge at the stretch of shophouses near my house.. walked pass 2 bars with pool tables and children running around and i was like er.. children? anyway.. while walking there i was reminded of a time last year lah.. when i just got into a relationship for a few hours lah.. maybe 24 or something i forgot.. yarh i was saying i was reminded of her.. and she broke up with me.. yes carian thats the one(: haha heartache abit.. hmm maybe because of the fact that i havent even held her hand nor did i even go one a date with her.. pathetic right? i know i know i'm a freaking despo.. but what the heck!
wanna know the scoops? haha she is in PHS lah.. quite a cute girl.. and is very nice to people.. knew her thru carmen.. haha we were like smsing nearly 200 sms a day.. and for a few days straight.. it was the hols and we could chat on the phone till dawn.. she sang songs over the phone and let me listen to songs she like.. recordings etc. and i sang for her too.. out of tune of course because i was lying on the bed!-_-" haha anyway she was like a really nice girl.. and i missed those times we chat over the phone and sms.. sighs..(:
sighs.. well now i'm happy with my present girlfriend lah.. a lot of glitches here and there but we'll work them out.. presently 8 months together ler! whoopee!((:
haha oops shall not say too much lah.. later she angry with me(: but if dardar you reading this wanna tell you 831! remember a not??

2006-08-25T18:05:00.000+08:00

haha it's a miracle to be able to come online again!
well so many things happen today lah.. top on the list is my quarrel with my mum..
BEFORE THE BREAK OF DAWN! i was like what the hell! why do i have to take her scoldings every morning! argh! got so angry that i stormed out of the house and went to school on my own! wow! it's been so long since i walked to school.. it's so frightening.. eerie walkways.. deserted bus stops.. the best scenes to film ghost stories lah.. its so quiet that you could hear the crickets tweek and the lizard's call.."sounds of nature"
ANYWAY! i reached school and smsed carian! first period of the day was PE.. haha had a lot of fun lah.. we played floorball! so many things happen in that 2 period that teaks me off! First off was Cesarius and his theory on how it's the last PE period and create a team to beat the other class! some lame reason! FYI you negleced a few people in the process you insensitive fool! whatever... he went on his way to create his "perfect" team and the rest of us played on our own.. luckily we had enough to from groups.. we went on to play our games lah..
okay next irritant was BRIAN! i hate him so much! what a snob! keep asking people to sit out of the game because he thinks he's the team leader! anyways we got to play our game lah.. at least some people was happy..
oh my gosh! i just remembered a guy fell while competing with me for the ball and i think he has fractured his ankle or something.. so sad lah! hey you okay a not? we were like rushing to get ice to help ease his pain! poor guy!..
social studies was the worst two period today! had to sit in the stinking AVA room and it's seriously stinking! all those sweaty bodies crammed into an airconditioned room.. yucks! and worst of all mr chan kept asking me questions to a point i remained quiet to pretend i didnt hear him..
haha the most wasted 2hours of my life was for the test after school lah.. at 1:45 our e-maths test started.. and was invigilated by mr stanley tan.. for all those out there he's the short guy whom everyone hates.. yes thats him..
anyway.. i dont see why people hate him lah.. he's kind of nice..(at times), humourous and awe-inspiring.. oh and guess what he was in the choir when he was young.. wow that really explains his booming voice(: kinda cool i think.. gosh! dont think i'm gay or something okay!seesh!
anyway as soon as the test was over i took out my hp and guess what.. carian smsed me! sighs.. dunno whats up with her lah.. she keep saying she cannot make it.. being the GREAT GENTILEMEN I AM*hint**hint* i encourage her(: haha and told her i was hoping to get full marks for the test lah..CARIAN IF YOUR READING THIS I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW! I'M ALWAYS BEHIND YOU ALL THE WAY! MUST JIAYOU WORS!
HAHA! well i came home and was thinking of vying for the com with my sis as usual lah.. but she playing some dancing game or something on the com.. since i didnt wanna disturb her i went to cook something to eat! yes! FOOD! FOOD OH GLORIOUS FOOD!
haha i was starving okay.. dont bother about my silly enthics haha.. silly silly me! have a sumptous meal and then Milo.. so fattening.. lol.. but nontheless i still ate it! sorry carian! sighs!!
so now here i am able to use the com now cause my sis had enough fun lalala~ haha chat online with carian, well sort of chat lah.. a bit only.. at the end where we were discussing whether i should be gentleman and sms her all the what not and about whether i was lying about her being pretty(: haha well anyways.. smsed her after she had offline-ed and soon it was 6 so i sms my dardar! she called me lah! i was so happy to hear her voice*love*
haha okayy that all for now!.. byees!

today` whees!

2006-08-24T15:38:00.000+08:00

came to blog again
sighs.. just came back from school..it was terrible..
fell asleep during english and almost missed chem prac coz no one called me up...evil class! EVIL i tell you!
managed to make it in time.. but during practical fumbled on all the procedures and stuff.. and i still couldnt get whats the gas.. my guess is CO2 but the tests were never successful.. sighs.. chem prac next week how!? still got english also! sighs..

hehh! i did something good today! i gave up my bus seat to grannie she was so nice to me.. keep saying i very good..(:*blush* haha yay! score 1 for me! lol

hmm i find i'm addicted to lays.. couldnt stop eating it.. i think i've tried all flavours! bbq, sour cream,original.. and cheese.. didnt like the taste of cheese though.. haha i'm such a glutton! fats!(copy from carian!) wahahahahahah!!

okayy end here! tomorrow still gotta take emaths mock exam! must score A1 i dont care!

P.S. carian i prayed for us again!

STRESS!

2006-08-22T16:26:00.000+08:00

Wow just realised i'm stress! i'm not eating well..(lose weight!!), fear and ridiculous thinking..
hmmm.. maybe i should go see a psychiatrist..

today had like 2 test.. which was okay.. social studies and chemistry..

i think i'm gonna flunk social studies.. my 7marks source based question i only had like 9-12 lines for it..
and my 5 mark i have like more than half page.. i need to learn organisation skills!

chemistry was okay i guess.. macromolecules.. organic chem.. yarh.. got quite a few questions correct hope can pass!

today the most disappointing thing was geog.. i thought i could have been the highest in class.. but in the end i'm even among them.. i've got a big problem..15/25 for me is not very good you know.. oh wells..
gotta start concentrating for 'o' levels.. 76 more days only..focus focus

i was suppose to meet wendy to return her her book and for lunch today but she couldn't make because she had some quiz thing.. Disappointed`

So now i'm at home doing my blog haha worked for 2 hours on this sia.. as if i'm not stressed enough..

finally

2006-08-20T02:42:00.000+08:00

haha.. phew..after all my hard work! the songs can be played! yay!*cheers**claps*
haha here are the song titles!!
1st: The way you look at me by Christian Bautista
2nd: Almost by Bowling for Soup
3rd: Now that you're gone by lin jun jie
4th: Hero by Enrique Iglesias

enjoy!

woohoo!

2006-08-19T13:44:00.000+08:00

yay! look at this.. i decided to redo my blog! many thanks to carian!
haha! wow.. so tiring to do a blog.. had so much trouble choosing my blog add..
hmm but decided to settle on this..
sighs! tuition later..PHYSICS!AHHHH!(:
hmm got a testimonal from my godsis today.. so touched by her words!
must write her a better on in future yesyes..
sis if you see this must tell me what you think okay?
lalalaz